Something strange happened to me today.

I was heading home from work during peak traffic hour on Pretoria's most congested road. To vent my frustration I decided to watch the people around me. A young chubby girl next to me was singing along to a death metal song. She looked as though she was really getting into it, which was really unattractive. So I scanned the rest of my view, setting my sight on a million people crossing the intersection up ahead. The crowd was colorful, however most of them were extremely ugly.

Traffic began to move as the robot flashed green, though a few hundred no brainer pedestrians used the moment to conveniently move their bodies slowly in front of the traffic, causing most of the congestion. Suddenly out from the side of the group of cars, a rogue Uno shot past us almost killing four obese stragglers that were too slow to beat the red light. The Uno was yellow and I could just spot the big furry dice hanging from its rear view mirror. It was then that I began to chase. I needed to know who this being was, I needed to know why he was in such a rush and why his mirror had dice hanging from them.

He was moving fast, on the the narrow right lane, shaving the asses of parked taxis, he was skilled at town driving. At first I struggled to keep up, mainly because I had no motive for following. He was erratic, switching lanes for no reason, though I couldn't complain because I was keeping up fine going in a straight line in one lane. Almost instantly he cut into Bosman street, cutting close to the corner. I managed to beat the red light as we both sped into the shadows of many buildings that stretched across Bosman. We hit traffic again.

Hans Zimmers 'The battle' from 'the Gladiator' was playing on my radio. As the song hit a hard note I made eye contact with the man in the rear view mirror of the yellow Uno. Time slowed as he frowned. Unibrow, skew hairline, brown eyes, rounded face, gold stud in left ear, approx. 27 years old, number plate NOB237GP.

He knew I was onto him because he looked into the mirror more, with quicker intervals and a paranoid frown. His indicators went on and he shoved the small car into the next lane and then again into the far left. This didnt stop me from following. The cars behind me hooting as I obnoxiously pushed my way through. The yellow uno, turned sharp into Church street headed for Hatfield. He was flooring it now, my French wheels struggling to keep up with the Italian zit.

The music was perfect, as we both approached 100km/h and wove our way through taxis, geriatrics and diplomats. Though he was gaining distance. Up ahead he shot through an intersection as its robot turned red. Victory for him as I was forced to meet my end. The track changed to the depressing 'sorrow.' It didn't cheer me up as I passionately beat my french steering wheel. The bastard was a speck in the distance.

It only occured to me later that my chase could have caused the nervous wreck to meet his end welded to the front of a Putco bus in the middle of an intersection. At least justice would have been served..... for what I still don't know.

Who was he? Probably a pedophile, or a panelbeater. One day our paths will cross again, and I will be ready.....